Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Academy in Peril

Why I won't be watching the Academy Awards tonight:

Snow White, Rob Lowe, dancing cocktail tables, Merv Griffin... this so disturbed me nearly 20 years ago, I've been unable to tune in ever since. I tried to force myself to watch again in '95, only to be met with David Letterman yammering "Uma... Oprah...", thereby confirming his own and the broadcast's continued irrelevance.

Will this year be any different? Probably not. Long-winded speeches, awkward montages, and heavy-handed threats against internet pirates, followed by musical numbers glorifying forking over $10.00 to see 'talent' like Lindsay Lohan in a theater because that's the way God and the Academy intended it. And finally, to add insult to injury, they're probably not going to let Peter O'Toole take away a statuette for his eighth nomination. I'd rather not partake.